Merry Christmas

I'm not really into classical music, but Pachelbel's Canon in D Major is one of the few pieces that I actually like (if only Cris knew, he'd snob me for the rest of my life hahaha).

It's funny how the more of a cynic you are, the more attracted you feel by purity. Maybe it's because cynicism is just an expression of one's disillusionment with a world that does not conform to their ideals. So for that reason, cynics aspire to purity knowing that they will never attain it.

Whatever may be the case, this song is my musical ideal of purity. I really hate the video but that's because you can't represent purity in images (especially not crappy youtube images). So do me a favor and ignore it. Just close your eyes and focus only on the song.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Memories

It's Christmas Eve (almost Christmas actually) and for once I'll stop fooling around. I feel like these last two weeks I've surrounded myself with these walls that hide the real me from everyone. I'm joking and I make fun of everything. But I feel like I've somehow lost track of the initial purpose of this blog and maybe, just maybe, I lost track of the real me. I don't know who that is anymore actually. I could make that my New Year's resolution maybe hahaha!

Whatever may be the case, this song is a gift for the hopeless romantic inside me (I try my hardest to ignore that part of me, but whether I like it or not, it's still there and it won't seem to disappear). It reminds me of one winter when I was a kid and I was in the car with my parents, driving to my grandparents' place. We were on this deserted country road and it was snowing so hard that the snowflakes seemed to form a tunnel that surrounded the car. And for one small, magical instant, I felt safe and completely and utterly happy.

Number 1 from Chris Rea:

Neverending Christmas

You didn't think that was it, now did you?

Number 2 is given to us by the hilarious Allan Sherman:

Allan Sherman - The Twelve Gifts Of Christmas Found at abmp3 search engine

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A Japanese transistor radio.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(It's a Nakashuma.)

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(It's the Mark IV model. That's the one that's discontinued.)

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A simulated alligator wallet,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(And it comes in a leatherette case with holes in it,
So you can listen right through the case.)

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A statue of a lady, with a clock where her stomach ought to be,
A simulated alligator wallet,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(And it has a wire with a thing on one end that you
Can stick in your ear, and a thing on the other end
That you can't stick anywhere, because it's bent.)

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A hammered aluminum nutcracker,
And all that other stuff,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A pink satin pillow that says San Diego, with fringe all around it,
And all that other stuff,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
An indoor plastic birdbath,
And all that other stuff,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A pair of teakwood shower clogs,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television, but not when you get it home,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, although it may seem strange,
On the twelfth day of Christmas, I'm going to exchange:
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television, but not when you get it home,
A chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter,
A pair of teakwood shower clogs,
An indoor plastic birdbath,
A pink satin pillow that says San Diego, with fringe all around it,
A hammered aluminum nutcracker,
A statue of a lady, with a clock where her stomach ought to be,
A simulated alligator wallet,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Christmas Revelations

I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last niiiiight!!

No, wait that's not how the classic goes! Daddy kissing Santa Claus?? Oh well, I guess times have changed haha.

Here's number 3 from Stand Still:



I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
Saw spots of green and red
Get these thoughts out of my head
I wish that I'd rolled over
and gone back to sleep instead

Not that there's anything wrong with that

I saw Daddy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
I couldn't make a noise
Yeah, who would've thought that he liked boys?
It seems that he's much further in the closet than my toys

What would the, son say?
What would the, wife say?
What would the, friends say?
What would the, wife say?
What would the, son say?
What would the, wife say?
What would the, friends say?
What would Jesus say?

Then Mommy and Daddy are kissing Santa Claus
It's a three way, three way tonight
I tell you it was rough
Seeing Mom as fingercuffs
Maybe this year, since Dad is queer,
I'll get some better stuff

Not that there's anything wrong with that
Not that there's anything wrong with that

I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus

Wow...just wow

Fucking AMAZING!!!!!

Highlight of the evening:



Yeah I know that it changes from Christmas songs, but I don't really care right now.

Tribute

Initially I wanted to post a more cheerful, normal Christmas-y song today in order to redeem myself after the last couple of posts. I even wrote the description and everything... and then I thought...naahhhh!

So considering I'm going to see them in concert tonight, here's a tribute to The Used.
(yes, I know...it's pink. I'm not very fond of it, but it was either this or a video with the Sims making out)

Number 4 from The Used:

Family time

5 more days until Christmas!! Oh wow, I can't believe it's almost here. Exams are over (yey!), I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping (double yey!) and I actually found enough songs to post here until Christmas (I initially thought I'd have trouble keeping up, but I ended up with more songs than I actually needed...so triple yey!). Though I feel like I'm only posting stupid songs lately...seems Lily-chan made more permanent damage on my system than I initially thought.

Oh well, continuing in the tradition developed over the past two days, here is another hilarious Christmas song which talks about...family time...sort of. Hahaha!

Here's #5 from Voltaire:



Christmas, that magic time of the year, mom and dad are glad everyone’s here
Grandpa is busy trimming the tree and aunty made a fruitcake naturally.
But her fruitcake aint the only one at the table, and there’s something that I just have to say
“Granny pass the stuffing if you are able, and by the way mom and dad, I’m gay”
Yea brought a girl with me but I paid her to be here.
Hey mom and dad that’s what they call a beard
I try to make it work but the girl aint got the gear
What can I say; I love it in the rear

Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out this year
Can’t wait to tell the world that I’m a flamin’ queer
Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out today
And here’s your Christmas present mom and dad I’m gay

Take back those G.I. Joes I never liked those toys
I never did like stuff that was for boys
Bring me some Barbies even though you think it’s wrong
Or better yet Johnny Depp in a thong

Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out this year
Can’t wait to tell the world that I’m a flamin’ queer
Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out today
And here’s your Christmas present mom and dad I’m gay

Don’t look so surprised to know it’s not like I’m the only homo
Aunty Jen’s a lesbian (she is?) and I’ve been felt by Uncle Joe
Well now I don’t expect for you to like what you’ve been told
And if you hate me well that’s how it goes
Well as for me I’m off to a disco and you can kiss my gay ass as I go

Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out this year
Can’t wait to tell the world that I’m a flamin’ queer
Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out today
And here’s your Christmas present mom and dad I’m wonderfully, fabulously, gargantuanly gay

Ding, Dong

Continuing with videos that make me laugh. This one is from a guy named Gunther. Now when you hear that name you imagine some huge, manly German guy who might also be a body builder. But instead you get this douchebag who tries to imitate (in vain I might add) a macho Latino and who makes quasi pornographic videos. Add to that some pouting (I don't know how many times he pouts in this video...I stopped counting after 6...then again, his face seems to be constantly pouting), a dog and two midgets, and you get this hilarious video. I don't care if this guy is for real or not, he just cracks me up every time.

DING DONG, it's a Christmas song!

For #6, we have Gunther Christmas style:

Old timers

I love the original punk bands! If not for their music but at least for their guts haha! Who else would dare to make a video (or come on stage for that matter) in leather pants, with a mane of hair that covers half of your face (even worse than emo kids these days) and half stoned? Now I understand why Ozzy can barely move his ass around. Moral of the story? Drugs are bad for you!

Number 7 from The Ramones:



Obviously, this is posted here for the video and not the song. The Ramones are an ok band, but this is not one of their best songs. The video on the other hand is hilarious! So people, make love not war! (I guess that sums up the message haha)

To be home or not to be home? That is the question...

Christmas somehow seems to be the time to avoid certain people. And this can be done either by not being home, or simply by telling the person to stay away ("I won't be home" vs. "Don't come home").

Fall Out Boy brings us #8:



I love how punks spin off old classics and make them into complete opposites haha!

Caroling

There's no particular concept for this post. It's just a song that I adore and that I listen to over and over and over again and which makes me laugh every time. The lyrics are simply brilliant!

Number 9 from Blink:



Outside the carolers start to sing
I can't describe the joy they bring
Cause joy is something they don't bring me
My girlfriend is by my side
From the roof are hanging sickles of ice
Their whiny voices get irritating
It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face
Wondering how much of my time they’ll waste
Oh God, I hate these Satan’s helpers
And then I guess I must have snapped
Because I grabbed the baseball bat
And made them all run for shelter

It’s Christmas time, again
It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand, all year
I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don’t want to get beaten down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone

Well, I guess it’s not cool to freak on Christmas Eve
Cause the cops came and arrested me
They had an unfair advantage
And even though the jail didn’t have a tree
Christmas came a night early
Cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package

It’s Christmas time, again
It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand, all year
I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don’t want to get beaten down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone

I won’t be home, I won’t be home for Christmas
I won’t be home, I won’t be home for Christmas

Recap

Yesterday's history

Tomorrow is a mystery
But today is a gift
That's why it's called the "present"

(Master Oogway - Kung Fu Panda)

Sorry I couldn't help myself. I had planned to post the quote of the month on the 26th like I usually do, but this fitted so well here that I couldn't resist. And I do know that this quote doesn't originate from Kung Fu Panda, but that's where I discovered it and I'm too lazy to look for the first person who actually said this.

Ghost of Christmas Future

It's always good when you can predict what is going to happen:



"Well I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas because I contributed to the green-house effect which melts the Polar Ice Caps which melts the North Pole where Santa Clause lives and he's mad."

Hahaha!!!! In that case I think that stores are going bankrupt this holiday!

Ghost of Christmas Present

Moving on from the past, this song is the epitome of present times (for people in the 16-25 age group in any case). It talks about alcohol, sex and puts you in a party mood. What more can you want? Maybe some depth? No? That's asking too much, isn't it? Oh well, at least it's cheerful.

Oh people please be warned. The song contains coarse language!! You will listen to it at your own risks and perils and I won't take any responsibility for it.

So without further ado, here's #11:

Ghost of Christmas Past

I'll just get this done with so that I will stop thinking about it and ergo be able to finally concentrate on economics.

So after you have made your Christmas list (materialistic beings that we are), you start to think back and that's when the past kicks in (nostalgia and self-pitiying are inherent to human beings) bringing us to this song.

Here's #12 from the JEWs (hahaha I love how that double meaning kicks in):



This is not exactly the song I wanted to post (it's a remix). But I couldn't find a decent video of the original (and when I say original, that depends on your definition since this is a cover for an even older song). But anyway, I discovered that this remix is actually not bad.

Christmas Playlist

Ok so I realized that I know more Christmas songs than I initially thought and since this might actually be better than the 5 carols that play over and over again at the radio (yes I don't like the radio very much lately) I'm going to post them here. One song per day until Christmas. It could be like some sort of a countdown (it might actually give me a chance to discover more songs and put me in the holiday spirit).

So here's #13:

Holiday Cheer

I think I had some sort of witty description in mind for this post a couple of minutes ago, but I can't seem to remember anymore...blah. Anyway, the snow is here (damn), exams have started (double damn) and the radio seems to have forgotten the existence of other types of songs that don't mention the word Christmas (which I wouldn't mind if they wouldn't mix carols and jazz music...so triple damn).

So to continue the tradition (or the brainwashing cycle all depending how you see things), here's a song that those people at the radio station should seriously consider including on their playlist. Or not necessarily this one, just any song that doesn't have a soft or jazzy feeling to it. Pleeeassseee? Pweaty pwease? Bah humbug!

Prehistoric screamo

Ok another idiotic post and some people would even yell at me for this one haha, but this morning I heard this song on the radio and I couldn't help thinking that it sounded a hell of a lot like most screamo bands nowadays (with a softer edge of course). Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Beatles!!!



Yeah I know that the video is quite crappy, but it's hard (boarding on impossible) to find good videos from the pre-MTV era.

Pinky and the Brain

Ok, completely irrelevant and stupid post, but what with exams coming up and my 12 hour per day study sessions, I probably won't post anything intelligent in the next two weeks.

So, the reason why this video is here (of course there's a reason...even when it's stupid it has to have a reason) is because it combines two of my favorite shows (House MD and Animaniacs) in a brilliantly hilarious way! So I couldn't pass up the opportunity to post it haha. Whoever made this video is my idol right now.

More Propaganda

Yes I'm procrastinating from my work again and have therefore found the time to check out a couple more cartoons.

These ones take the bashing a step further to become insulting, which in my opinion makes them even more hilarious (maybe it's because I'm not Japanese nor am I Hitler). In any case, what I find most amusing is the feeling of déjà-vu since a couple of the gags presented here have been frequently reused in later Looney Tunes cartoons which gave me a chance to discover them as a kid...ah, what wonderful memories!

So here are the newest additions to my politically charged collection of cartoons:





What I find even funnier is the sinking of Tokyo in the second cartoon. Now am I the only one who immediately thought about Hiroshima and Nagasaki? And the best part is that this cartoon aired 3 years before the atomic bombs were dropped! Talk about clairvoyance! (Of course, it could also be just a coincidence, which most probably is the case, but I like to read too much into things)

Biblical Quotes

I don't watch West Wing, but I recently came across this excerpt from the series and I found it just brilliant!

Logic: 1
Religion: 0

Propaganda

Even though I'm way past the age, I still watch cartoons once in a while and especially the old classics (this makes me feel even older than I already am haha). However, recently, I came across some very old Looney Tunes cartoons that were made during World War Two and it amazed me to see the blatant propaganda that was displayed. It actually makes me wonder. Did the kids that were watching them at the time understand what they were about? Maybe. Figures such as Hitler and Stalin were frequently mentioned in that period (in any case, more often than nowadays). It also makes me wonder if I ever saw those cartoons as a kid (because some of them were actually banned). In any case, even if I did, I probably didn't understand them since I had no clue who Hitler was until I started having history classes in school.

So I think I'll start a little collection of these classics here and I'll post them whenever I find them. The topics will not only be limited to World War Two propaganda, but will encompass anything that is remotely political. The reason for this is simply because I find these cartoons to be a paradox (or a cleverly disguised brainwashing machine) and anyone who knows me will be aware that I thrive on paradoxes. The fact that the main audience is composed of children who are therefore not interested in politics and, depending on the age, might not even understand them, is mind baffling. Of course they're still funny and will still entertain younger crowds, but there are references that are completely wasted on that audience. It's a bit like the Simpsons: cartoons for adults. Which from my point of view takes the best of both worlds: the innocence and carefree atmosphere associated with cartoons combined with the political bashing which makes the jokes all the funnier.

So here is the first couple of additions to this collection:

Hope in the future?

We always hear about how the younger generations will one day inherit this world, how they are our hope. Young people will rid this world of all evil or at least make it a better place. Whenever I hear that, after the slight instant of panic where I imagine myself having to ease the world of pollution (yeah right!), the economic crisis, world poverty, etc, etc, I slip in a state of complete disbelief at the naivety of older people (or maybe they're just putting up a show for us young people...which I hope, for their sake). We are going to make the world a better place? Really?? Is that just another modern way of making a hero of the lamb that's going to be slaughtered?

Because let's face it, the older generation (also known in the western world under the name of baby boomers) had all the fun at the party and now we're stuck cleaning the apartment. And I don't really mind that challenge. If only it would be a technical or a scientific problem. But we're not fighting against a lack of knowledge that prevents us from finding a solution. We're fighting against greed and egos, against hypocrisy and self-indulgence, we're fighting against the system! And how can you beat that? Of course there are the classical historical examples of how human rights activists and feminists fought against racism and sexism and how in the end they were victorious. Were they really? Personally, I think the subject is debatable.

I remember how at my first university orientation session, there was a speaker (I can't for the life of me remember his name) who talked about this topic and the advice he gave us at the end of his speech was to avoid becoming cynical. And my immediate (cynical) response was: and how pray tell do you do that? All you have to do is turn on the TV and all you see (whenever we're not brainwashed by soap operas and other pointless series) is politicians and governments who don't give a shit, pharmaceuticals and other multinationals who step on people and communities in order to maximize their already staggering profits, and, when you turn off the TV and start browsing the Internet, you realize that even the media lie or distort information.

The best example is this latest H1N1 flu crisis (oh by the way, does anyone know why they don't refer to it as the swine flu anymore? Because people stopped eating pork due to it. Hahaha, talk about media impact!). More people die in a week from AIDS or malaria than they have died from this stupid flu since this whole ordeal has started. But you don't see governments commissioning research teams to find a vaccine against AIDS or, ha big joke of the day, buying such vaccines had they existed for the entire population of the country! But for a stupid flu ('cause that's what it is in my opinion...slightly worse than a seasonal flu) everyone makes such a big fuss and almost everyday you see reporters in the news talking about the extra 3 people who died from the flu today (3 people?? Oh the horror! The horror!! Hey pinkie, how many people died from car crashes or from lung cancers (aka smokers) today?). Did anybody know that thousands of people die each year from regular seasonal flu? Well I didn't. Why? Because we never hear about them. And I'm not talking about India or Africa here. I'm talking about North America where the hygiene level is fairly high and the medical system...well, compared to South Africa, it's better...I will not comment further. But getting back on topic, it's amazing how easily we can be manipulated by mass media.

And after all this, us youngsters are supposed to keep an idealistic heart and commit our life to making the world a better place? Not bloody likely (as the Brits would put it)! And you know, maybe, just maybe, I could give my life to change the world if only, before I die, I could see some of that change actually taking place. But what are the chances of that happening? How many lives, how many generations need to perish before we will see one iota of a change in this godforsaken world? Therefore, in order for change to take place, you need to not only believe that the world can change, but also have faith that others will continue the work you have started once you are no more. Maybe I'm just a control freak who has trouble trusting others when it's time to do a good job, but frankly, my confidence in the human race is at its lowest and it just keeps dropping as the years go by. And if everyone in my generation is just as cynical and as disillusioned with the world as I am, well, pardon my language, but we are royally fucked.

Beautifully Imperfect

Ok, straying away from the philosophical mood (I seem to be doing this quite often lately actually), here's a video that actually made me cry the first time I saw it (yes, yes, big crybaby that I am). Well actually, now that I think about it, maybe there is a bit of philosophy to the video. It basically just looks at relationships from a different perspective and I've been trying to wrap my head around it for the past year or so, but I find it a bit difficult.

Every girl grows up with this fantasy idea of the perfect marriage, the perfect husband, the perfect family. And then as you gather experience in life, you realize just how naive you have been and you can't help becoming a bit cynical. You swear off men and relationships, you decide that you NEVER want to get married and that children are definitely not the thing for you. But then what? Do you end up one of those old ladies who dies alone surrounded by her 10 cats?

Life is not an all or nothing deal. You win some, you lose some, and, in the end, you are as happy as you make yourself be. Perfection does not exist in this world and that is something I can live with. I can even understand that the person who you choose to spend the rest of your life with (or the next year or two, depending on what your view of a long term relationship is) will most certainly have flaws that you will have to cope with and that sometimes you will have to bite your tongue during an argument in order to avoid hurting the other or simply because it's your turn to give in.

But to love someone because of their flaws? How can that work in the long term? Sure at the beginning when you fall in love, you see everything that the other does as being adorable or funny, but that's just the effect of the dopamine on your brain. How can you still feel the same once that effect wears off? Maybe I just need more experience with long term relationships in order to figure that one out. Further reflection on the subject might come in the future...

Quote of the month

These are a couple of quotes by Jean-Paul Sartre that I discovered this summer while reading Sophie's World and they struck a chord in my own reflections. They didn't bring any answers, but they kind of confirmed some thoughts that I already had (which I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not....I try to stay as far away as possible from confirmation bias, but that doesn't always happen). They are kind of long, but they develop the same idea in a brilliant way.

"We are like actors dragged onto the stage without having learned our lines, with no script and no prompter to whisper stage directions to us. We must decide for ourselves how to live."

"Man is condemned to be free. Condemned because he has not created himself and is nevertheless free. Because having once been hurled into the world, he is responsible for everything he does."

"Man must never disclaim the responsibility for his actions. Nor can we avoid the responsibility of making our own choices on the grounds that we 'must' go to work, or we 'must' live up to certain middle-class expectations regarding how we should live. Those who thus slip into the anonymous masses will never be other than members of the impersonal flock, having fled from themselves into self-deception. On the other hand, our freedom obliges us to make something of ourselves, to live 'authentically' or 'truly'."

"Life must have a meaning. It is an imperative. But it is we ourselves who must create this meaning in our own lives. To exist is to create your own life."

I miss you...

Prends-moi dans tes bras et serre-moi très fort. Tu sais, j'ai tellement peur. J'ai peur au point où des fois j'arrive plus à respirer. J'ai peur de ce qui suit, j'ai peur de ce qui est fini, j'ai peur de la vie. J'ai peur des décisions que je prends, j'ai peur de celles que j'ai pas pris. J'ai peur des gens parce que j'en ai marre d'être déçue. J'ai peur d'espérer parce que j'en ai marre de pleurer. J'ai besoin de tes bras forts qui m'entourent, j'ai besoin d'un point auquel je puisse m'accrocher. Je sens mon pouls et j'imagine que chaque battement est ton coeur qui bat en même temps que le mien. Tu vas rire, mais je fais ça souvent, prendre mon pouls. Ça me rappelle que je suis encore en vie, que je suis plus que juste un morceau de viande qui vieillit un peu plus chaque jour et qui se rapproche de plus en plus de la putréfaction. J'ai envie de te prendre dans mes bras, de me perdre dans tes yeux, de sentir ton odeur, de mettre mes mains sur tes hanches. Je veux voir tes mains, tes mains qui m'ont si longtemps fascinée. Je veux regarder tes longs doigts qui enserrent ma taille et qui ne me laissent pas partir. J'ai envie de m'envelopper dans ton calme, dans ton assurance. Tu te poses jamais des questions? Tu ne doutes vraiment jamais? Je sais que tu le fais. Peut-être aussi souvent que moi. Mais tu ne le montres jamais. Tu réussis à remplir le vide qui me ronge à l'intérieur et à calmer mes peurs. Lorsque je sens l'appréhension qui me suffoque, je pense à toi. Tu es mon souffle. Tu me manques. J'ai besoin de sentir qu'il y a quelqu'un dans ce monde qui ne me laissera pas tomber pour une fois. Mais même toi, tu n'es pas parfait. Même toi, tu m'as oubliée. Même toi, tu es parti.

Worst time of the year

Worst time of the year: Christmas and birthdays (well my birthday in particular)! Now I know that this makes me sound like a scrooge, but my reasons for this go beyond just a hate of human contact. As a matter of fact, I love human contact and being around people. I think that you never live more fully than when you are surrounded by people that you love and who love you. But what I hate about humans is that most of the time they're disappointing (and this even when you only have basic expectations). That's the problem! When you get close to people you start having expectations and as Barry Schwartz explained (see earlier post) expectations are the start of unhappiness and you end up being disappointed 90% of the time. This is particularly obvious around Christmas and birthdays because they're supposed to be special occasions and that has an effect of raising expectations. So the only thing that these occasions end up doing is giving you a wake up call and a very cold reality check.

Experimental Results

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I started a little experiment around 3-4 weeks ago in order to identify what things are really important to me. And the results were...drumroll please...well they were inconclusive. Hell of a disappointment, isn't it? Basically, I can't say that I was under excruciating torture and I missed maximum 3 or 4 rock songs. However, two days ago, I did reach a point where I wasn't able to stand another stupid James Blunt or Cascada song and I was relieved to go back to Avenged Sevenfold. But did my relief come from the fact that I missed rock music or from the fact that it was a song I hadn't listened to in almost a month and it gave me a break from the overused and overlistened current playlist? That I can't say, but one thing is for sure, now I appreciate every rock, metal and punk song on my IPod. So if there's at least one lesson to learn from this is the fact that alternating for extended periods of time music styles makes the listening experience much more pleasurable (at least when you switch from one music genre to another).

So in honor of my return among the punks/rockers/metalheads here is Twisted Transitor by Korn (one of the songs I DESPERATELY missed):



If you get the chance also check out their song Evolution:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VntFEWF8I8A

Initially this is the song I wanted to post, but embedding was disabled on youtube due to copyright. In any case it's an amazing song and the video is well worth the time spent watching it.

Return to the past

Ok I know, cheesy song, but who cares?? I still love it! Makes me think of myself and how I always lie to myself...but in a slightly less conscious way.



It's weird how the fact of watching the video manages to amplify the experience of this song as opposed to just listening to it. My theory is that since more than one sense is involved (hearing and seeing) you are more concentrated on the lyrics, on the music, on the story behind it and therefore you immerse yourself in it. On the other hand, when you just listen to the song, you could be doing something else at the same time (like writing this post) and that takes part of your attention away from the atmosphere and the mood that the song is trying to create.

Or maybe it's just that the images are more appealing...

Superhuman race

As the years go by and you get through high school, CEGEP and university, the pressure put on students to perform continuously increases and you get to the point where you desperately need a reality check.

You start school, an innocent 6 year-old thinking that good grades is all you need to get through life. Then the years go by and before you know it, you have to apply to university and suddenly having good grades is only enough to keep you afloat among the masses of high achievers. But what makes you unique? That is what universities want to know. And unless you've won some beauty pageant, all the while being the president of the math club, there's no chance that anyone will take notice.

Extracurriculars have become the new buzzword in the academic world and even in the world of job searches. It is no longer enough to be good at what you do, but you need to care about your community, you need to change things, you need to leave a mark. And if that wasn't enough, you also have to network and have the right connections if you want to get into a really good school. I read this old article in the New York Times about athletes who were trying to gain admission into select colleges through their achievements in the world of sports. Now these aren't brainless people who weigh 200 pounds of muscle and who only know how to kick a ball. They are intelligent people who manage to juggle school work and intense training programs. But still, some are left out. Because even when you're the best, there are still people who are better than you.

But how do you live with this knowledge? Always pushing yourself, always expanding your horizons in every possible direction, hoping that you have what it takes to secure a good future for yourself. Another New York Times post talks about students in the US applying to as many as 30 universities in hopes of being accepted in a good school. 30??? That is freakishly insane! Besides the fact that you get yourself in debt even before you start college in order to pay the application forms, the time it takes to complete those applications which in competitive programs require long autobiographical letters and references from teachers is incredibly long even for one application.

This leads me to think, what about the normal people? Do they even exist anymore? People who struggle in high school, what do they do in this case? Or have they already been submerged in the academic ocean? Did they give up? Have they been absorbed by society into Walmart cashiers and restaurant waiters? Or on the contrary, are they faring better than us nerds by simply rejecting the system and becoming entrepreneurs?

I remember someone once telling me that it's better to be the smartest in a group of stupid people, than to be the idiot in the genius bunch (or something along those lines). Maybe the answer doesn't lie in going to Harvard or McGill Med, but in making your own way. But then which one of those two is easier?

Maybe, in the end, the problem is not with the system, because after all, there will always be limited places for a larger number of candidates, be it in universities or in the workforce. Maybe there's a problem with our values and the perception we have of ourselves. Maybe the philosophy exposed in Fight Club is right. Maybe Tyler Durden is right when he says: "You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else". Maybe we should stop concentrating on being the best and just concentrate on enjoying life. And what if you have to be the best in order to enjoy life (aka high achievers such as myself)? Well then sucks to be you...

New York Times articles here and here

"Fericirea nu se cumpara in rate"

Puts things into perspective...



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La radio, vreau sa ajung la radio
S-auda o tara-ntreaga cine-s eu cu adevarat

In fiecare zi imi spune cineva cat sunt de fericit
Ca viata o traiesc din plin pentru ca am mobil si-s conectat,
Masina de spalat si expresor, televizor cu ecran plat,
Calculator si sunt special pentru ca am un card cu numele pe el
Cu care in curand o sa imi cumpar casa pe pamant
Si cu garaj, doua masini si un rotweiler in curte
Si voi primi nevasta, urata si cam proasta
Si doi copii la scoala americana,
O bona care-mi e amanta si ma insala
Si care vrea la sala,
Suntem cu totii o comunitate de vise sfaramate in mii de rate,
De vise sfaramate in mii de rate...

Nu vreau s-ajung asa
Asta nu-s eu si trebuie sa scap
S-ajung la radio
Sa spun cine sunt eu cu adevarat

La radio, vreau sa ajung la radio
S-auda o tara-ntreaga cine-s eu cu adevarat

Iubita mea lucreaza intr-o cafenea
Vrea sa se faca actrita
In fiecare seara o iau si-o duc acasa in doua camere si o terasa
Asa e casa noastra, albastra
Iubita mea gateste
Eu o ajut la vise
Apoi ma duc pe strazi si pe trotuare, murdare
De povestile cu creta
Si ma-ntalnesc cu trei prieteni vagabonzi
Sunt vagabonzi, dar ii cunosc de mic
Si mergem la un net sa mai vedem cum e,
Si care-i faza si cum sta treaba.
Iubita mea viseaza,
Iar eu pun bani deoparte ca sa o duc departe
Si sa calatorim, sa ne iubim si sa dansam pe mese.
Asta-i povestea mea si vreau sa-o dati la radio
Sa auda toata lumea
Ca viata-i simpla si misto.
Si o iubesc pe fata mea.

La radio, vreau sa ajung la radio
S-auda o tara-ntreaga cine-s eu cu adevarat

Masina de spalat n-o sa ma faca mai curat,
Nici expresorul, n-o sa-mi ghiceasca viitorul.
Numele meu nu vreau sa-l vad pe card,
Iar fericirea nu se cumpara in rate.

La radio, vreau sa ajung la radio
S-auda o tara-ntreaga cine-s eu cu adevarat

Monument in the memory of Pasolini

I feel myself slipping. On the board of insanity, the abyss lying at my feet, I slowly drift towards the dark confines of my mind. This macabre obsession, continuously unearthing skeletons from the dark pages of history, seamlessly absorbs the words of devious spirits and little by little becomes one of them. A man who writes a script about cannibalism, is he horrified or fascinated by it? By criticizing society and its absurdities do we rise above it or do we fall into the pit of hypocrisy? Touching the fine line between solid ground and a freefall jump, exhilaration runs through my veins. I try to prolong the feeling for as long as possible before it fades away and the mundane world takes back its place. I like to toy with the idea of crossing the line, of going past the point of no return. But that will not happen. Not tonight. For now, I remain irrevocably sane.

“Tatal lui era un prof de filozofie. In viata mea nu am vazut un om atat de trist.”

Euphemisms

This is an EX-parrot!!! No more comments hahahaha!

Experiments

Music is very important in my life. In fact, I don't think I've gone through one day in the past 3-4 years without music or if I did, it was quite the painful experience. A lot of my reflections and inspiration comes from songs (or pictures, but that's for another post).

So leaving the blabbering aside, I decided to put myself through a little experience which was inspired by the title of this song by Cobra Starship: "You can't be missed if you never go away". In an effort to discover what was really important to me, I decided to stay away from things that I think I like and just see how much I miss them, if i miss them at all. For years now, I have considered myself a dye-hard fan of rock, punk and, lately, even metal music. But like every teenager, I went through all sorts of phases and I still do, which led me to wonder. Is my attachment to this sort of music a phase that I'm trying to maintain because I indulge in the image I make of myself and of my character or is it for real? So for 4 days I have deprived myself of rock music or any songs I used to listen to in high school. So far, it's not too bad. I'm not really suffering. And I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. Maybe it's too early to say. I'll just see for how long I can keep this up. If it's longer than a month, than I've probably been lying to myself for the past years...which is never pleasant to discover, but I still prefer knowing. It's a bit like seeing a magic trick. Do you want live in the fantasy and be amazed, or do u want to know how they do it which most of the time ruins the whole thing forever? Personally, I want to know.

Sooo, that being said, next thing on my list will be... chocolate! Will I be able to live without it? Probably not.

Too young to feel this old

You know that you are waaaay too young to feel this old when you are listening to "Hier encore" by Charles Aznavour and you're not even 20! Well in that case, be it! Here is this wonderful song that should be nowhere near my IPod but nonetheless is there and has been there for quite some time.



Hier encore,
J'avais vingt ans.
Je caressais le temps,
Et jouais de la vie
Comme on joue de l'amour,
Et je vivais la nuit,
Sans compter sur mes jours
Qui fuyaient dans le temps.
J'ai fait tant de projets
Qui sont restés en l'air,
J'ai fondé tant d'espoirs
Qui se sont envolés,
Que je reste perdu
Ne sachant où aller,
Les yeux cherchant le ciel,
Mais le cœur mis en terre.

Hier encore,
J'avais vingt ans.
Je gaspillais le temps,
En croyant l'arrêter,
Et pour le retenir
Même le devancer,
Je n'ai fait que courir
Et me suis essoufflé.
Ignorant le passé,
Conjuguant au futur,
Je précédais de moi
Toute conversation
Et donnait mon avis que je voulais le beau,
Pour critiquer le monde
Avec désinvolture.

Hier encore,
J'avais vingt ans,
Mais j'ai perdu mon temps
A faire des folies
Qui ne me laissent au fond
Rien de vraiment précis,
Que quelques rides au front
Et la peur de l'ennui.
Car mes amours sont mortes
Avant que d'exister,
Mes amis sont partis et ne reviendront pas.
Par ma faute
J'ai fait le vide autour de moi,
Et j'ai gâché ma vie,
Et mes jeunes années.
Du meilleur et du pire,
En jetant le meilleur,
J'ai figé mes sourires,
Et j'ai glacé mes pleurs.
Où sont-ils à présent,
A présent,
Mes vingt ans?

As for the title of this post, it's taken from a Three Days Grace song called "World So Cold" (yes huge contrast with the previous song, but I like to mess people up).

Quote of the month

Ok I know that when you talk about the quote of the month it's supposed to be just that: A quote. But I want to put here three quotes that come back to the same subject which has been on my mind a lot lately.

"I submit to you that if a man has not discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live."

Martin Luther King Jr.

"I feel sorry for the person who can't get genuinely excited about his work. Not only will he never be satisfied, but he will never achieve anything worthwhile."

Walter Chrysler

"Some of us will do our jobs well and some will not, but we will be judged by only one thing: the result."

Vince Lombardi

All these things might seem common sense to most people, but to me it has been a bit of a revelation. I have been thinking about my future and about career options a lot lately. And that last quote struck a chord in my reflections. The effort you put into something is completely irrelevant and no one is going to give you brownie points because you have done your best. Your best is worthless unless it can produce results. So then when you choose a career, don't take into account such futile things like the pay or how likely you are to find a job in the field. Because you won't be able to keep your job if you aren't good at what you are doing. And maybe I'm just a naive kid whose eyes have suddenly been opened, but having the typical teenage flaw, I always considered myself somewhat invincible. In school, I always managed to get myself out of the most impossible situations and I did it fairly well. But the real world isn't like school and just telling myself that I'm going to be ok isn't enough anymore. I have to make up my mind, do something, and do it well! Or else nothing will matter... and that's scary.

Diversity

About a week ago, I was walking with a friend of mine in downtown Montreal and we ran across this drunk Spanish guy who kept repeating "Cabrones los Quebequences!" (meaning "these Quebecers are real bastards"...and yes I had to look in the dictionary...my Spanish isn't all that good). And it made me laugh because you don't see something like that everyday. I like drunk people because they have the courage to tell the world to go to hell and they voice things that most of the time we keep bottled up for fear of offending someone. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think that we should all get drunk and start a fight. I'm actually all against violence. But I do think that the world needs a bit more sincerity... and extravagance. Because let's face it, a world where everyone keeps in their own closed up little world, where everyone minds their own business, where the streets are filled with people going to work and then back home and where everyone does their best to fit it, well it's a pretty boring world. From the hundreds of times I took the metro in the past years, do I remember the people sitting there reading their newspaper or their books? No, I remember the guy who would spit at the closing doors and I remember the guys dressed as pirates who started pounding on the windows of the metro. I think we should have more apparent diversity in this world because all diversity is good. Freaks, weirdos, handicapped people, gays, drunks, homeless people and all the different cultures of the world should be posted on every street corner. Because that way: 1) our days will be more colorful (yes, yes, insensitive freak that I am) and most importantly, 2) we will never forget their existence. We must break from our cozy, safe and protected air-tight bubble and see that the world is not as great as we might think. There is suffering even in the glorious New World. There are people who struggle and who get stepped upon. And on the other hand, there are people who are simply different and who don't ask for anything but to be accepted as they are and not judged for it.

So homework for the end of the week: go out, take a walk and try to find someone who is different. And try to imagine what it's like to be in their shoes for a day.

The Paradox of Choice

So people, don't have any expectations in life and you'll be happy!

Running Up That Hill

This is an amazing cover by Placebo of an old Kate Bush song. Frankly, it's one of the few songs where the remake is better than the original. So start playing the song and just close your eyes. Imagine a full moon on a warm summer night, a light breeze touching your face and absolutely no one around you. Where would you be? What surrounds you? That's pretty much up to you. It's a song that allows you to dream and to hope. It gives you wings when you feel tied up to the ground and it allows you to breathe when reality starts to choke your spirit.
Ok enough talking, just listen to the damn song!

The 5 Phases of growth and random physics grumble

Cred ca lebedele dirijeaza autoruta de langa conditile de coordinare a scociului rosu colaborativ and the speed of life is 300 m/s.

The greatest concern of all times: the Environment

It seems like I'm on a roll today since my accounting homework is less appealing than ever right now, so let's get to another topic that has been quite important in my life up until now in one way or another: the environment.

I've been involved with environmental organizations at school in a way or another since the age of 14. Considering it's been 5 years (and relativity teaches us that the younger you are the greater the impact of one year on your life), one might think that it's something I care about a lot (that's what I told those people from med school during my entrance interview in any case). But the truth is, I don't... not really. So I guess that would make me a hypocrite and, what's more, not a very convincing one at that (the people from med school didn't believe me). So that brings us to the reasons as to why I do it.

Initially, it was because I needed volunteer hours in order to get my high school diploma and the school's environmental organization was a convenient choice. But why did I keep returning to the environment whenever I had a project or a topic to choose at school? One might say that it was out of habit or because it's something I'm comfortable with. Then why do I recycle? More importantly, why did I bug my parents to recycle? (my parents who have spent the largest part of their life in Romania, are as environmentally friendly as Bush is). Now I don't mean to criticize my parents. They are good people and in fact, I think that in this difference in mentality lies the answer to my questions (at least on this topic).

Why do people recycle? Why do they get involved in environmental projects? Why do they participate in rallies against CO2 emissions? Well for the simple reason that an environmental conscience has been ingrained in us in the Western world through schools and the media for the past 10 years. In Montreal, when the thermometer goes past 30°C in the summer, buses reduce their fees to encourage people to leave their cars at home. In Romania, the government frequently announces upcoming heat waves and provides advices to the populations (like spend time in an air-conditioned shopping mall) and provides spots with an access to water supplies in major cities, but they rarely link the phenomenon to global warming. Schools never mention recycling to students (or at least they didn't in the 6 years that I studied there) and overall, people have higher concerns than reducing their carbon emissions (like furnishing your new apartment in the latest fashion and with the latest technologies, ensuring that crops produce enough and at a reasonable price, or simply trying to get enough to eat every day...as you can see, concerns vary depending on income and social status).

Now if we judge Romanian politics from the western point of view, they may seem backward, lacking insight and simply insensitive to a problem that concerns us all (because we and our industrial actions are the cause of the problem). But frankly, when you're on the verge of bankruptcy, the environment is the last thing on your agenda and I think that all developing countries like China and India have the same mentality. And how about we turn the tables and judge Canadian or western European policies (unfortunately we can't include the US because Bush refused to ratify Kyoto) from the point of view of a developing country. Wouldn't it seem like a lot of money is spent (or planning to be spent....politicians always seem to plan things but never get them done) on something that makes us feel good about ourselves? Because that is what all this environmental frenzy is: a way to make us feel like we're doing something noble and good for all humanity. That is why I have been doing it.

But overall, is recycling our humanities essays and cutting down on our time in the shower actually going to do anything? We often hear about the mass effect... if all of North America contributes, then we shall all be saved. I don't really have any numbers on this, but I wonder just how much good are our meagre efforts doing compared to all the multinationals which keep polluting like there's no tomorrow. And if anyone gets in their way (like the government), well they just move to China or India where they can pretty much do whatever they want environmentally-wise. And speaking about the government, what is it doing to help the planet? Carbon taxes! Ah the dear old carbon taxes. Now I don't know if anybody ever read a nice little book called "Cool It: The Skeptical Environmentalist's Guide To Global Warming" by Bjorn Lomborg, but it actually has quite an interesting stance on the subject. The book has been subject to a lot of controversy (as you would expect on something that strays from mainstream ideas about the environment), but basically what it presents us with is alternatives to Kyoto which is mainly focused on cutting down our CO2 emissions. By using UN reports and statistics, Lomborg shows how the situation isn't as catastrophic as the media make it out to be and how, by investing in R&D and social measures rather than following Kyoto, we can obtain much better results as far as human welfare is concerned. Because overall, what are we really trying to do? Make sure that temperatures stay constant for the next millenia (which is preposterous since it goes against the very nature of the planet which has been through various ice ages since it came into being) or make sure that the global population has the best living conditions possible? I'll leave that to you to ponder and take a look at the book if you ever get the chance. I know that it seems contrary to all that we have been hearing so far in the media and myself, I was reluctant to believe it at first, but the guy does have 40 pages of bibliography! That has to count as some proof that what he is saying isn't complete and total nonsense.

And after all this, I know that I might seem like some insensitive, hypocritical ass who denies the very existence of global warming. That is not true (well I might be a bit of a hypocrite, but then again who isn't these days). Global warming is real and we are the cause of it. However, we shouldn't loose our sleep over it and as ordinary citizens, I don't think that there is much we can do about it. We can gather in the streets and protest, but then again what kind of measures should we request? In the end, I think it comes down to a question of priorities and how much we are willing to sacrifice. But one thing is for sure. We should all, each and every one of us, stop saying that we want to build a better world for future generations. After all, future generations in Africa won't care much if summers are 5°C hotter if they have nothing to eat, drink and they are dying of AIDS. And yes global warming will ruin crops and reduce the amount of water available (from what CERTAIN models predict). But if we only invest in the environment, things will at best only remain as they are now (slim consolation). By actually investing in agriculture and in better water irrigation and storage systems we might actually have a chance to improve things. In any case, I'm not going to rewrite Lomborg's book here (though I am on the right track). Just read it if the subject is of any interest to you.

Now before I end this already unbearably long post, I'll just leave you with a sketch by George Carlin which touches on the subject and brings a few balls in the homecourt.

The dawn of heroes

The wind blows a last dispersing breath.
Shit.
The sun sheds its first rays over this maddening scene.
Shit.
Why am I still breathing?
Why is the engine still rolling?
Why are ashes floating?
Shit. Oh shit, oh shit…
Why am I still flying?
What have I left behind?
Shit, shit, shit!

Such bright colors…
Shit.
Such grandiose features…
Shit.
Such intricate textures…
Shit.
Such power, speed, agility…
Shit,
Shit,
Shit!
Such silence,
Such swiftness,
Such madness,
Shit.
Is it over?
Shit.

Why did I push the button?
Why did I release Little Boy?
Shit.

Ever wonder what went through the mind of the pilots who released the atomic bombs during WWT?

Oh, if any sensitive people read this, sorry for the language, but I highly doubt that someone would use words like darn of fudge after killing almost 100 000 people in an instant.

1984 Apple commercial

Awesome video...and I'm not even an Apple freak. It's just that the concept is pure genius!

Breathe

Credit: badorgood.com

Inhale...1...2...3...4

Hold it in...1...2...3...4

Exhale...1...2...3...4...5...6

Do nothing...1...2

Inhale...1...2...3...4

Hold it in...1...2...3...4

Exhale...1...2...3...4...5...6

Do nothing...1...2

I freaking hate oral presentations! They make me feel so naked, so vulnerable. And the worst is that the people listening to you don't care much about what you are going to say. They want to get it over with just as much as you do. So then why is it such a big deal?

Mental Pictures

Credit: wingsforshtuka.deviantart.com

Do you ever feel like life is just one picture after another stuck on a wall? Like every worthwhile moment can be resumed in one picture that goes into the photoalbum of your memory? And that's what we end up with at the end. A series of pictures that have made us laugh, cry, scream or want to hide under the covers of our bed for the rest of the week. Words, unless repeated ad nauseum, seem to fade, but images stubornly stick to the confines of our mind, constantly reminding us of our experiences, of who we are, of what brought us here.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about marriage and what makes people stay together an entire lifetime. Is there such a love? Looking around me at all the broken couples, looking at my parents and how their marriage is holding just by a thread that they carefully protect by ignoring the complete lack of love between them, I sometimes despair. And then I take the bus and I see in such an ordinary setting an exotic flower that entrances me and whether I want it or not, it leaves me with a smile on my face. Two people well in their 80’s sit down across from me. His legs are so thin and white and stained with spots that one wonders how they can still support his body’s weight. She is just as frail and I can’t help noticing her long scrawny fingers slightly shaking. He takes her hands into his and kisses her temples with a look of pure adoration in his eyes. I feel like I shouldn’t be looking, like this moment is theirs to savour and that I’m somehow trespassing on some special ritual. But I can’t take my eyes off them and for that small instant, for that moment, I can breathe again. I hear my grandfather’s voice again: “Bunicuta, tu ma mai iubesti?”, and the gentle, sweet tone he uses to formulate those words. Maybe there is hope.

Introduction

Credit: 2jL.deviantart.com

Why is it that the hardest things in the world are beginnings and endings? It shouldn't be all that hard to tell the world why you are doing something (like this blog), why they should listen to you, why you are important. But it is. Because we are afraid of what others will think, of the way that we are going to be perceived. Are people going to find me too presumptuous if I speak this way? Am I going to be labeled as a nerd if I start off with this topic? And let's not forget that first impressions are what count most, especially in this world where no one has the time to get to know you unless you get them interested first. Personally I fit in the shy category and I find that as I grow older I find it harder and harder to show the real me around strangers. Half of it is that I don't want to be judged, but the other half is simply that I'm not interested in these people. So I end up committing the exact same crime that I accuse everyone else of. It all comes down to catching people's attention. And it gets tiring to always be interesting, exciting and provocative, especially when you're not. So this blog is a place for my thoughts, my reflexions, a general conversation with my mind before I chuck myself into the psychiatric asylum, or if you will, a sort of diary since I don't really expect anyone to read through all this. So there it is, long ass intro for something that could have been resumed in two lines. But then again, another thing I'm tired of is briefness. You always have to get to the point as soon as possible. Well not here!