Merry Christmas

I'm not really into classical music, but Pachelbel's Canon in D Major is one of the few pieces that I actually like (if only Cris knew, he'd snob me for the rest of my life hahaha).

It's funny how the more of a cynic you are, the more attracted you feel by purity. Maybe it's because cynicism is just an expression of one's disillusionment with a world that does not conform to their ideals. So for that reason, cynics aspire to purity knowing that they will never attain it.

Whatever may be the case, this song is my musical ideal of purity. I really hate the video but that's because you can't represent purity in images (especially not crappy youtube images). So do me a favor and ignore it. Just close your eyes and focus only on the song.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Memories

It's Christmas Eve (almost Christmas actually) and for once I'll stop fooling around. I feel like these last two weeks I've surrounded myself with these walls that hide the real me from everyone. I'm joking and I make fun of everything. But I feel like I've somehow lost track of the initial purpose of this blog and maybe, just maybe, I lost track of the real me. I don't know who that is anymore actually. I could make that my New Year's resolution maybe hahaha!

Whatever may be the case, this song is a gift for the hopeless romantic inside me (I try my hardest to ignore that part of me, but whether I like it or not, it's still there and it won't seem to disappear). It reminds me of one winter when I was a kid and I was in the car with my parents, driving to my grandparents' place. We were on this deserted country road and it was snowing so hard that the snowflakes seemed to form a tunnel that surrounded the car. And for one small, magical instant, I felt safe and completely and utterly happy.

Number 1 from Chris Rea:

Neverending Christmas

You didn't think that was it, now did you?

Number 2 is given to us by the hilarious Allan Sherman:

Allan Sherman - The Twelve Gifts Of Christmas Found at abmp3 search engine

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A Japanese transistor radio.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(It's a Nakashuma.)

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(It's the Mark IV model. That's the one that's discontinued.)

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A simulated alligator wallet,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(And it comes in a leatherette case with holes in it,
So you can listen right through the case.)

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A statue of a lady, with a clock where her stomach ought to be,
A simulated alligator wallet,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(And it has a wire with a thing on one end that you
Can stick in your ear, and a thing on the other end
That you can't stick anywhere, because it's bent.)

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A hammered aluminum nutcracker,
And all that other stuff,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A pink satin pillow that says San Diego, with fringe all around it,
And all that other stuff,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
An indoor plastic birdbath,
And all that other stuff,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A pair of teakwood shower clogs,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television, but not when you get it home,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, although it may seem strange,
On the twelfth day of Christmas, I'm going to exchange:
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television, but not when you get it home,
A chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter,
A pair of teakwood shower clogs,
An indoor plastic birdbath,
A pink satin pillow that says San Diego, with fringe all around it,
A hammered aluminum nutcracker,
A statue of a lady, with a clock where her stomach ought to be,
A simulated alligator wallet,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Christmas Revelations

I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last niiiiight!!

No, wait that's not how the classic goes! Daddy kissing Santa Claus?? Oh well, I guess times have changed haha.

Here's number 3 from Stand Still:



I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
Saw spots of green and red
Get these thoughts out of my head
I wish that I'd rolled over
and gone back to sleep instead

Not that there's anything wrong with that

I saw Daddy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
I couldn't make a noise
Yeah, who would've thought that he liked boys?
It seems that he's much further in the closet than my toys

What would the, son say?
What would the, wife say?
What would the, friends say?
What would the, wife say?
What would the, son say?
What would the, wife say?
What would the, friends say?
What would Jesus say?

Then Mommy and Daddy are kissing Santa Claus
It's a three way, three way tonight
I tell you it was rough
Seeing Mom as fingercuffs
Maybe this year, since Dad is queer,
I'll get some better stuff

Not that there's anything wrong with that
Not that there's anything wrong with that

I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus

Wow...just wow

Fucking AMAZING!!!!!

Highlight of the evening:



Yeah I know that it changes from Christmas songs, but I don't really care right now.

Tribute

Initially I wanted to post a more cheerful, normal Christmas-y song today in order to redeem myself after the last couple of posts. I even wrote the description and everything... and then I thought...naahhhh!

So considering I'm going to see them in concert tonight, here's a tribute to The Used.
(yes, I know...it's pink. I'm not very fond of it, but it was either this or a video with the Sims making out)

Number 4 from The Used:

Family time

5 more days until Christmas!! Oh wow, I can't believe it's almost here. Exams are over (yey!), I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping (double yey!) and I actually found enough songs to post here until Christmas (I initially thought I'd have trouble keeping up, but I ended up with more songs than I actually needed...so triple yey!). Though I feel like I'm only posting stupid songs lately...seems Lily-chan made more permanent damage on my system than I initially thought.

Oh well, continuing in the tradition developed over the past two days, here is another hilarious Christmas song which talks about...family time...sort of. Hahaha!

Here's #5 from Voltaire:



Christmas, that magic time of the year, mom and dad are glad everyone’s here
Grandpa is busy trimming the tree and aunty made a fruitcake naturally.
But her fruitcake aint the only one at the table, and there’s something that I just have to say
“Granny pass the stuffing if you are able, and by the way mom and dad, I’m gay”
Yea brought a girl with me but I paid her to be here.
Hey mom and dad that’s what they call a beard
I try to make it work but the girl aint got the gear
What can I say; I love it in the rear

Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out this year
Can’t wait to tell the world that I’m a flamin’ queer
Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out today
And here’s your Christmas present mom and dad I’m gay

Take back those G.I. Joes I never liked those toys
I never did like stuff that was for boys
Bring me some Barbies even though you think it’s wrong
Or better yet Johnny Depp in a thong

Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out this year
Can’t wait to tell the world that I’m a flamin’ queer
Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out today
And here’s your Christmas present mom and dad I’m gay

Don’t look so surprised to know it’s not like I’m the only homo
Aunty Jen’s a lesbian (she is?) and I’ve been felt by Uncle Joe
Well now I don’t expect for you to like what you’ve been told
And if you hate me well that’s how it goes
Well as for me I’m off to a disco and you can kiss my gay ass as I go

Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out this year
Can’t wait to tell the world that I’m a flamin’ queer
Comin’ out this Christmas comin’ out today
And here’s your Christmas present mom and dad I’m wonderfully, fabulously, gargantuanly gay

Ding, Dong

Continuing with videos that make me laugh. This one is from a guy named Gunther. Now when you hear that name you imagine some huge, manly German guy who might also be a body builder. But instead you get this douchebag who tries to imitate (in vain I might add) a macho Latino and who makes quasi pornographic videos. Add to that some pouting (I don't know how many times he pouts in this video...I stopped counting after 6...then again, his face seems to be constantly pouting), a dog and two midgets, and you get this hilarious video. I don't care if this guy is for real or not, he just cracks me up every time.

DING DONG, it's a Christmas song!

For #6, we have Gunther Christmas style:

Old timers

I love the original punk bands! If not for their music but at least for their guts haha! Who else would dare to make a video (or come on stage for that matter) in leather pants, with a mane of hair that covers half of your face (even worse than emo kids these days) and half stoned? Now I understand why Ozzy can barely move his ass around. Moral of the story? Drugs are bad for you!

Number 7 from The Ramones:



Obviously, this is posted here for the video and not the song. The Ramones are an ok band, but this is not one of their best songs. The video on the other hand is hilarious! So people, make love not war! (I guess that sums up the message haha)

To be home or not to be home? That is the question...

Christmas somehow seems to be the time to avoid certain people. And this can be done either by not being home, or simply by telling the person to stay away ("I won't be home" vs. "Don't come home").

Fall Out Boy brings us #8:



I love how punks spin off old classics and make them into complete opposites haha!

Caroling

There's no particular concept for this post. It's just a song that I adore and that I listen to over and over and over again and which makes me laugh every time. The lyrics are simply brilliant!

Number 9 from Blink:



Outside the carolers start to sing
I can't describe the joy they bring
Cause joy is something they don't bring me
My girlfriend is by my side
From the roof are hanging sickles of ice
Their whiny voices get irritating
It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face
Wondering how much of my time they’ll waste
Oh God, I hate these Satan’s helpers
And then I guess I must have snapped
Because I grabbed the baseball bat
And made them all run for shelter

It’s Christmas time, again
It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand, all year
I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don’t want to get beaten down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone

Well, I guess it’s not cool to freak on Christmas Eve
Cause the cops came and arrested me
They had an unfair advantage
And even though the jail didn’t have a tree
Christmas came a night early
Cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package

It’s Christmas time, again
It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand, all year
I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don’t want to get beaten down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone

I won’t be home, I won’t be home for Christmas
I won’t be home, I won’t be home for Christmas

Recap

Yesterday's history

Tomorrow is a mystery
But today is a gift
That's why it's called the "present"

(Master Oogway - Kung Fu Panda)

Sorry I couldn't help myself. I had planned to post the quote of the month on the 26th like I usually do, but this fitted so well here that I couldn't resist. And I do know that this quote doesn't originate from Kung Fu Panda, but that's where I discovered it and I'm too lazy to look for the first person who actually said this.

Ghost of Christmas Future

It's always good when you can predict what is going to happen:



"Well I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas because I contributed to the green-house effect which melts the Polar Ice Caps which melts the North Pole where Santa Clause lives and he's mad."

Hahaha!!!! In that case I think that stores are going bankrupt this holiday!

Ghost of Christmas Present

Moving on from the past, this song is the epitome of present times (for people in the 16-25 age group in any case). It talks about alcohol, sex and puts you in a party mood. What more can you want? Maybe some depth? No? That's asking too much, isn't it? Oh well, at least it's cheerful.

Oh people please be warned. The song contains coarse language!! You will listen to it at your own risks and perils and I won't take any responsibility for it.

So without further ado, here's #11:

Ghost of Christmas Past

I'll just get this done with so that I will stop thinking about it and ergo be able to finally concentrate on economics.

So after you have made your Christmas list (materialistic beings that we are), you start to think back and that's when the past kicks in (nostalgia and self-pitiying are inherent to human beings) bringing us to this song.

Here's #12 from the JEWs (hahaha I love how that double meaning kicks in):



This is not exactly the song I wanted to post (it's a remix). But I couldn't find a decent video of the original (and when I say original, that depends on your definition since this is a cover for an even older song). But anyway, I discovered that this remix is actually not bad.

Christmas Playlist

Ok so I realized that I know more Christmas songs than I initially thought and since this might actually be better than the 5 carols that play over and over again at the radio (yes I don't like the radio very much lately) I'm going to post them here. One song per day until Christmas. It could be like some sort of a countdown (it might actually give me a chance to discover more songs and put me in the holiday spirit).

So here's #13:

Holiday Cheer

I think I had some sort of witty description in mind for this post a couple of minutes ago, but I can't seem to remember anymore...blah. Anyway, the snow is here (damn), exams have started (double damn) and the radio seems to have forgotten the existence of other types of songs that don't mention the word Christmas (which I wouldn't mind if they wouldn't mix carols and jazz music...so triple damn).

So to continue the tradition (or the brainwashing cycle all depending how you see things), here's a song that those people at the radio station should seriously consider including on their playlist. Or not necessarily this one, just any song that doesn't have a soft or jazzy feeling to it. Pleeeassseee? Pweaty pwease? Bah humbug!

Prehistoric screamo

Ok another idiotic post and some people would even yell at me for this one haha, but this morning I heard this song on the radio and I couldn't help thinking that it sounded a hell of a lot like most screamo bands nowadays (with a softer edge of course). Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Beatles!!!



Yeah I know that the video is quite crappy, but it's hard (boarding on impossible) to find good videos from the pre-MTV era.

Pinky and the Brain

Ok, completely irrelevant and stupid post, but what with exams coming up and my 12 hour per day study sessions, I probably won't post anything intelligent in the next two weeks.

So, the reason why this video is here (of course there's a reason...even when it's stupid it has to have a reason) is because it combines two of my favorite shows (House MD and Animaniacs) in a brilliantly hilarious way! So I couldn't pass up the opportunity to post it haha. Whoever made this video is my idol right now.

More Propaganda

Yes I'm procrastinating from my work again and have therefore found the time to check out a couple more cartoons.

These ones take the bashing a step further to become insulting, which in my opinion makes them even more hilarious (maybe it's because I'm not Japanese nor am I Hitler). In any case, what I find most amusing is the feeling of déjà-vu since a couple of the gags presented here have been frequently reused in later Looney Tunes cartoons which gave me a chance to discover them as a kid...ah, what wonderful memories!

So here are the newest additions to my politically charged collection of cartoons:





What I find even funnier is the sinking of Tokyo in the second cartoon. Now am I the only one who immediately thought about Hiroshima and Nagasaki? And the best part is that this cartoon aired 3 years before the atomic bombs were dropped! Talk about clairvoyance! (Of course, it could also be just a coincidence, which most probably is the case, but I like to read too much into things)

Biblical Quotes

I don't watch West Wing, but I recently came across this excerpt from the series and I found it just brilliant!

Logic: 1
Religion: 0

Propaganda

Even though I'm way past the age, I still watch cartoons once in a while and especially the old classics (this makes me feel even older than I already am haha). However, recently, I came across some very old Looney Tunes cartoons that were made during World War Two and it amazed me to see the blatant propaganda that was displayed. It actually makes me wonder. Did the kids that were watching them at the time understand what they were about? Maybe. Figures such as Hitler and Stalin were frequently mentioned in that period (in any case, more often than nowadays). It also makes me wonder if I ever saw those cartoons as a kid (because some of them were actually banned). In any case, even if I did, I probably didn't understand them since I had no clue who Hitler was until I started having history classes in school.

So I think I'll start a little collection of these classics here and I'll post them whenever I find them. The topics will not only be limited to World War Two propaganda, but will encompass anything that is remotely political. The reason for this is simply because I find these cartoons to be a paradox (or a cleverly disguised brainwashing machine) and anyone who knows me will be aware that I thrive on paradoxes. The fact that the main audience is composed of children who are therefore not interested in politics and, depending on the age, might not even understand them, is mind baffling. Of course they're still funny and will still entertain younger crowds, but there are references that are completely wasted on that audience. It's a bit like the Simpsons: cartoons for adults. Which from my point of view takes the best of both worlds: the innocence and carefree atmosphere associated with cartoons combined with the political bashing which makes the jokes all the funnier.

So here is the first couple of additions to this collection: