Today, on October 10th, this blog reaches a new stage of its development. Today marks one year since Eyes through the glass has come into being! Wow j'arrive pas à croire que ça fait déjà un an que je debilite des inepties sur Internet hahaha! And yes, the only reason that sentence was in French is that I liked how it sounded....which proves my point even further. But coming back to the subject on hand (yes I still have trouble staying on topic), the coming of this event has led me to evaluate exactly where I stand with this blog and what I have accomplished with it in the past year. Though, I do feel that accomplished might be too strong a word to describe what I have done with this thing. Anyway, leaving semantics aside, what I'm trying to say is that I feel like I have strayed from the initial purpose of this project of mine. For thoroughness' sake, I will quote part of my introduction (which was also my first post):
"So this blog is a place for my thoughts, my reflexions, a general conversation with my mind before I chuck myself into the psychiatric asylum, or if you will, a sort of diary since I don't really expect anyone to read through all this."
I am dying to make a comment about the last part of that sentence, but I shall refrain because this is not the time nor place for bitterness. In any case, I initially envisioned Eyes through the glass as a more reflective or poetic product. But it seems like I can't separate myself from my feelings and my frustrations and, let's be honest, there's nothing poetic about a whiny girl in her late teenage years. And there's more music here than actual reflections (and the songs might be deep sometimes, but mostly they're not). This blog is becoming too hétéroclite as the French would say. And while it represents me in the purest sense (because I can be deep, but most of the time I'm not), I need some structure and some organization. However, I do know myself and I know that I'll never be able to keep my rants out of my posts. No matter how many efforts I'll make, there will still be one in two posts containing stupidities, nonsense and whining.
And for that reason, I am creating two new blogs. One for my circuits and one for my blood pumping vessel. One that I can be proud of and which would truly be a work of art (and where I'll probably post once a month hahaha), and one where I can dump all my frustrations, my impulses and my rants (and where I'll post almost daily -_-). In a sense, I find this decision of mine ironic because, some time ago, I went to a conference where the speaker was talking about how fragmented our society is and how we separate emotions from reason and from will. And how, on the contrary, we should try to integrate every part of ourselves, rational and non-rational, into our existence. And here I am, doing the exact opposite. Blah, maybe in a year I'll create a new blog where I'll recombine everything. All I know is that right now I need a separation, maybe to help me find a focus in my life and to reconnect with the different parts of me. And for that I need structure. Maybe I'll still post here, maybe not, I can't tell. I did have a little project that I wanted to do for my 20th birthday which is coming in less than 2 months and which I might post here though.
But I guess this is pretty much it. This is goodbye. This is the start of a new beginning.
