Thursday, January 3, 2013
Me, myself and I in retrospectiva 2012
E tarziu. Dimineata tarziu. A trecut anul nou. Retrospectiva mea s-a rezumat la 3 secunde de connexiuni neuronale. Nimic liric sau literar. Nu mi-am scris rezolutiile. Nu mi-am terminat proiectele. In momentul de fata, totul suna pompos. Pretentios. Inutil. Ultimul an a fost ametitor. Mi-a deschis ochii la multe. Poate nu chiar la ce trebuia. Realizez ca am petrecut 12 luni fugind si ascunzanduma. Au fost momente glamorous. Dar toate superficiale. Au fost momente perfecte. Dar probabil cele mai inocente si pentru care nu trebuie sa mergi la celalalt capat al lumii ca sa le traiesti. Au fost decepti. Dar la care ar fi trebuit sa ma astept. Deci care este rezumatul? Experienta. Anul asta mi-a lasat multe poze si multe urme pe suflet. Unele bune, altele rele. Am impresia ca am imbatranit foarte mult. Si e trist. Copilaria nu trebuie lasata niciodat in urma. Dar uneori nu ai de ales. Ca sa inchizi un capitol trebuie sa renunti la o parte din tine. Si sa constuiesti pe ce a ramas. Anul asta am sters mult. Dar deocamdata pagina ramane goala. In 2013 vreau sa urmez sfatul pe care il dau in mod constant la toate prietenele mele si pe care eu nu prea il urmez niciodata. Vreau sa ma uit in oglinda cu luciditate si fara frica. Vreau sa nu mai fug. Vreau sa imi duc reflectiile pana la capat si sa nu mai traiesc din iluzii. Am mai spus-o de doua ori pana acum, dar acum trebuie sa o iau in serios. Vreau sa fiu mai puternica si mai disciplinata. Vreau sa am macar impresia ca pot schimba ceva in viata mea.
Monday, December 10, 2012
We're all going to die!!
Marketing people always push their boundaries in their continual search to attract more and more customers. This following example, though I don't think I'm going to buy in (courtesy of student budgets), made me laugh and ponder (which always gains brownie points in my book):
Awesome isn't it? I kind of wish I didn't have years of tuition in front of me to pay... otherwise, I would jump on the first plane to Brussels or Vienna or (gasp) Prague. But hey, if the world does end on the 21st then I guess I don't need to worry about that do I? Yeahhh.... wishful thinking!
But leaving aside marketing-induced impulsive behavior and whether the world will end (or not) in a week and a half, I think that this is a good opportunity to take a moment (now that I can actually afford to do that) and reflect on what is important, to see the big picture on what we have accomplished, on what we want to accomplish, to show the people in our lives that they are important to us and that we appreciate them. Even if our lives continue past December 21st, they are still short in the grand scheme of things and it's never too early (or too late) to start working on your life, on who you want to be and to just smile and say thank you. So here's my bucket list for the upcoming end of the world:
1) Say thank you to everyone who has endured me during the good and the bad times, who picked me up when I was at my worst, who encouraged me when I thought it was pointless, who inspired me to go on, who made me smile and laugh, who went along with my madness.
2) See the Geminid meteor shower on December 13th. Please clouds be nice and stick this one out.
3) Apply to university and go back to my first love: science.
4) Get a new phone!! I can't believe I managed to tough this one out for 4 and a half years...
5) Exercise
6) Go to a JMSB party. They say that we have the best parties in town. Well I'm ashamed to say that after 3 years here, I still haven't been to any... So I missed Frosh, I missed the Halloween parties, but I'm not going to miss the end of semester party!
7) Research the subject of illusion of control in communist economies.
So there it is! I think it's more than enough for less than 2 weeks. Oh no, wait I forgot one:
8) Restart my Flirting with Red Balloons project on the different theories of happiness. Yep! I'm back!
My personal opinion is that you only live fully when your bucket list becomes your to do list. Maybe I should make that my philosophy for next year haha!
Happy last weekend before the end of the world!
Awesome isn't it? I kind of wish I didn't have years of tuition in front of me to pay... otherwise, I would jump on the first plane to Brussels or Vienna or (gasp) Prague. But hey, if the world does end on the 21st then I guess I don't need to worry about that do I? Yeahhh.... wishful thinking!
But leaving aside marketing-induced impulsive behavior and whether the world will end (or not) in a week and a half, I think that this is a good opportunity to take a moment (now that I can actually afford to do that) and reflect on what is important, to see the big picture on what we have accomplished, on what we want to accomplish, to show the people in our lives that they are important to us and that we appreciate them. Even if our lives continue past December 21st, they are still short in the grand scheme of things and it's never too early (or too late) to start working on your life, on who you want to be and to just smile and say thank you. So here's my bucket list for the upcoming end of the world:
1) Say thank you to everyone who has endured me during the good and the bad times, who picked me up when I was at my worst, who encouraged me when I thought it was pointless, who inspired me to go on, who made me smile and laugh, who went along with my madness.
2) See the Geminid meteor shower on December 13th. Please clouds be nice and stick this one out.
3) Apply to university and go back to my first love: science.
4) Get a new phone!! I can't believe I managed to tough this one out for 4 and a half years...
5) Exercise
6) Go to a JMSB party. They say that we have the best parties in town. Well I'm ashamed to say that after 3 years here, I still haven't been to any... So I missed Frosh, I missed the Halloween parties, but I'm not going to miss the end of semester party!
7) Research the subject of illusion of control in communist economies.
So there it is! I think it's more than enough for less than 2 weeks. Oh no, wait I forgot one:
8) Restart my Flirting with Red Balloons project on the different theories of happiness. Yep! I'm back!
My personal opinion is that you only live fully when your bucket list becomes your to do list. Maybe I should make that my philosophy for next year haha!
Happy last weekend before the end of the world!
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Aneurysm
It's been too long. I kind of miss writing here. I just don't have the time right now. However, since today (and by today I mean Monday, even if it is technically Tuesday, but I haven't slept yet so I'm still allowed to call it Monday) was the first day of the week when I officially die and go to hell (if I'm not already in hell), I felt like this song was kind of appropriate. Here's to the end of the week which is coming way too soon and at the same time not soon enough.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Red balloons are starting to lose air
I've kind of failed to keep up with the schedule that I imposed on myself on this project. And it probably won't get any better in the next month. What can I say? School's a "witch with a b" right now. BUT I will finish this project before the end of the year! Even if it means doing a post every day during the month of December! Which will probably be the case... So I officially announce that my weekly posts are postponed until December 9th.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Free fall or how a busy schedule forces you to postpone
I am ashamed to say that today I have nothing. My exams and projects are cramming so much of my time that I haven't had any time to research any new theory this week. So I guess that all I can offer right now is a promise for a 2 for 1 deal next week. And I can leave you with this wisdom freshly squeezed from my personal experience during the past couple of days:
Happiness is finding the courage and strength to do what has and is needed to be done at the expense of what you actually want to do. Happiness is finding within you the power to follow your instincts and swallow your pride. Happiness is making someone else laugh when they need it the most. Happiness is being at your lowest and being able to gain perspective. Happiness is being able to say yes more often than you say no.
Happiness is finding the courage and strength to do what has and is needed to be done at the expense of what you actually want to do. Happiness is finding within you the power to follow your instincts and swallow your pride. Happiness is making someone else laugh when they need it the most. Happiness is being at your lowest and being able to gain perspective. Happiness is being able to say yes more often than you say no.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Happiness is in the mind of the beholder
I never really explained yesterday's post and when you present happiness as your brain rationalizing "it's not so bad" it kind of needs a few extra words. I know they're excuses, but I was falling asleep in front of my computer last night. So here's my take on it.
Dan Gilbert's explanation on how we find happiness is not the typical glamorous self-help 10-step process that we follow and then find eternal happiness. I think what he's saying is that no matter what we do, no matter how much we screw up, we have a built-in safety net. And as long as we let go and let ourselves fall, we'll be happy.
I had a professor discuss this philosophy in class this week and she presented natural happiness vs synthetic happiness this way:
Natural happiness
You're single and you go this friend's party. You get there, you get yourself a drink and sit in your corner looking around. And all of a sudden, you lock eyes. There he/she is. You both can't look away. You are drawn to each other. The rest of the room doesn't exist anymore. You walk towards each other in perfect synchronicity. You meet and this is IT! You date for 6 months, get married have 2.1 kids and live happily ever after.
Synthetic happiness
You're single and you go partying and drinking with your friends every week. You get wasted every time, you do some crazy stuff and overall have a great time. Then the years pass, you graduate, you get a job in a bank, your cool friends are all splattered all over the globe and you never see them anymore. Then you reach 30, you start feeling the pressure mount so you just settle on someone and get married. Some more years pass and the pressure comes back so you eventually end up having a kid. And you don't want too much of an age difference, so you have another kid. And before you know it you're 45 and you start wondering how much of your life you chose and how much of it just happened on you.
And at that point of the story, one guy in the class just let out this loud groan in which you could REALLY feel the pain. His worst nightmare coming true in the space of 5 minutes. But honestly, I think that this is the really crucial point in the story. Because here you have a life-changing choice to make. Either you stick it through and make the best of it or you pick up your bags, leave everything and start over. I think that religious people for whom divorce is NOT an option just might be happier because they don't have to struggle with the choice and then feel miserable with whichever decision they make. Because let's face it. If you do leave your wife/husband and kids, how can you live without remorse (and be sure that your kids will make it a point of duty to remind you of it at every family reunion that you're still invited to). But it you stay, you'll always wonder what your life would have been like if you had the courage to take a chance. And since american societies really place this kind of individuality and the whole "follow your dreams to the end of the rainbow where your reward is patiently waiting for you" crap, well you'll always feel like you somehow failed. However, realistically speaking, most of us don't get their Hollywood picture perfect ending. And I've already said this, but the chances of finding THE ONE are quite slim. Even if the mushy theories are true and there is one perfect person for me out there, I really don't want to wait until I'm 60 to meet him. In the mean time, I have a life and I have to make the best of it. Now the only problem is deciding when exactly is the time to give up the freedom to go back. Should we settle at 20? At 30? At 40? I have an inkling that the answer is not the same for everyone. And it probably sounds something like "when you're ready".
On a lighter note, here's my own personal brand of happiness these days:
Vanilla Rooibos tea! It's like heaven in my mouth! And I only bought it because I broke my dad's tea pot and had to go to David's Tea to buy him a new one. It's nice how things work out sometimes, don't you think?
Dan Gilbert's explanation on how we find happiness is not the typical glamorous self-help 10-step process that we follow and then find eternal happiness. I think what he's saying is that no matter what we do, no matter how much we screw up, we have a built-in safety net. And as long as we let go and let ourselves fall, we'll be happy.
I had a professor discuss this philosophy in class this week and she presented natural happiness vs synthetic happiness this way:
Natural happiness
You're single and you go this friend's party. You get there, you get yourself a drink and sit in your corner looking around. And all of a sudden, you lock eyes. There he/she is. You both can't look away. You are drawn to each other. The rest of the room doesn't exist anymore. You walk towards each other in perfect synchronicity. You meet and this is IT! You date for 6 months, get married have 2.1 kids and live happily ever after.
Synthetic happiness
You're single and you go partying and drinking with your friends every week. You get wasted every time, you do some crazy stuff and overall have a great time. Then the years pass, you graduate, you get a job in a bank, your cool friends are all splattered all over the globe and you never see them anymore. Then you reach 30, you start feeling the pressure mount so you just settle on someone and get married. Some more years pass and the pressure comes back so you eventually end up having a kid. And you don't want too much of an age difference, so you have another kid. And before you know it you're 45 and you start wondering how much of your life you chose and how much of it just happened on you.
And at that point of the story, one guy in the class just let out this loud groan in which you could REALLY feel the pain. His worst nightmare coming true in the space of 5 minutes. But honestly, I think that this is the really crucial point in the story. Because here you have a life-changing choice to make. Either you stick it through and make the best of it or you pick up your bags, leave everything and start over. I think that religious people for whom divorce is NOT an option just might be happier because they don't have to struggle with the choice and then feel miserable with whichever decision they make. Because let's face it. If you do leave your wife/husband and kids, how can you live without remorse (and be sure that your kids will make it a point of duty to remind you of it at every family reunion that you're still invited to). But it you stay, you'll always wonder what your life would have been like if you had the courage to take a chance. And since american societies really place this kind of individuality and the whole "follow your dreams to the end of the rainbow where your reward is patiently waiting for you" crap, well you'll always feel like you somehow failed. However, realistically speaking, most of us don't get their Hollywood picture perfect ending. And I've already said this, but the chances of finding THE ONE are quite slim. Even if the mushy theories are true and there is one perfect person for me out there, I really don't want to wait until I'm 60 to meet him. In the mean time, I have a life and I have to make the best of it. Now the only problem is deciding when exactly is the time to give up the freedom to go back. Should we settle at 20? At 30? At 40? I have an inkling that the answer is not the same for everyone. And it probably sounds something like "when you're ready".
On a lighter note, here's my own personal brand of happiness these days:
Vanilla Rooibos tea! It's like heaven in my mouth! And I only bought it because I broke my dad's tea pot and had to go to David's Tea to buy him a new one. It's nice how things work out sometimes, don't you think?
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Dan Gilbert - The surprising science of happiness
So part two of my little project brings a bit of merit to the age old phrase "All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds". I don't know if it's a philosophy on giving up, but in any case it brings some insights into the physiology of happiness. Dan Gilbert is a professor and researcher at Harvard in the department of psychology and he spent many years looking into the concept of happiness. And here is a talk he did for TED. Absolutely brilliant!
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