Quarter life crisis

Unfulfilled potential. I don't think there's a scarier expression out there. You go through the motions and you do your best and deep down everyone has a certain sense of their value and their worth. But then for x, y, z reason, your life somehow doesn't turn out how you expect it to be. And then you're left wondering why? Is it because of a lack of judgement on your part? Were you just unlucky? Or is this really just the best you can achieve? And you look at people around you who do succeed where you failed and wonder why. And obviously you compare yourself to them. And obviously you're envious even if it kills you to admit it. I hate that I keep so much envy and bitterness inside me and I wish I could just throw it all away and wipe the slate clean. I think that part of what made me happy when I was younger was all the options that were available to me. But once you make a choice it's a door that closes on you and you can never go back. Potential is nice because it allows you to dream. Reality is facing the world around you with all its messiness and frustrations and disappointments and losses. And right now all I have is a whole load of disappointments and unfulfilled potential. It's easy to blame things on luck and say that the world is against you. But at the end of the day I think somewhere sometime around 3 years ago I gave up. I gave up on who I thought I was. I gave up on who I thought I could be. And before I can live up to my potential I need to get that back. I need to get myself back. I've always been slower than everybody else when it came to getting my shit together. Let's just hope that by the time I figure my shit out, it won't be too late.