So here it is. Summer vacation. Or so I thought. It was amazing for about one evening. Then it all came down. Reality. Decisions. This should be the best time of my life. But it doesn't feel like that. I just feel the contrast between the carefree summer inviting me to waste the day outside and the dark confines of my room telling me I have some thinking to do. There was this quote saying that all college seniors should be given one week during the year to just break down and cry because you're scared and afraid and you don't know what to do. Well I think the week is now. Sometime between the last exam and convocation and grad ball. To be honest I know what I need to do (or at least I have the illusion of control that makes me believe that by following a few easy steps I'll be able to make a good decision). But just starting is quite frankly terrifying. Why? Beats me! This is only the rest of my life that we're talking about.... Someone once told me that I need to grow a backbone so that I can stick to my choices and decisions. They were probably right. However, before I can get there, I have to convince myself that this is the best path for me without the shadow of a doubt. Listen to me.... as though certainty really was an integral part of reality! The only truly certain things in this life are death and taxes and all else is stamp collecting (accounting majors might tell you that even the last one can be debatable). That is why it's so terrifying I guess. You need to close your eyes and take a leap of faith. Damn. I always did have trouble with faith.
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