Et il pleut

Je me réveille ce matin par un temps exécrable de pluie et de vent. Mais en prenant mon café, je regardais distraitement le grand sapin en arrière et le ciel en tumulte qui lui servait de canevas. Ce ciel toujours changeant. Ce ciel me donne espoir. Il me fait rêver. Il me donne envie de m’envoler. Il me rappelle qui je suis. Le bonheur absolu c’est l’espoir. C’est les possibilités. C’est le saut dans le vide. C’est la peur et l’envie en même temps.

Al Pacino looked good in the 70's

I decided that my entertainment choices as of lately had been lacking testosterone, so I finally convinced myself to sit through The Godfather. Yes, every single male on this planet goes on and on about how this is the greatest movie ever made since cave drawings were invented, yet the idea of watching guys shoot each other for 3 hours never seemed appealing to me. Nevertheless, I felt that now it was finally time. So after you get through the first hour and a half, the movie becomes more bearable (dare I say almost enjoyable) and you can start to understand the full scope of the philosophy that the authors are trying to convey. So what did  I learn from this?

1. When you want to get something from people, always make them an offer they can't refuse.

2. Always side with the family.

3. Protecting your family is the most important thing. This can sometimes include getting involved with drugs and killing people.

4. Si tu fiul meu Brutus? aka always expect to be killed.

5. Women are naive and innocent creatures that need to be perpetually protected and honesty is overrated.

Overall, I can't say it was as painful as I initially expected it to be. However, if this is what reality is like (and I have a good feeling it is), then I am only left with this one phrase that has become legendary through the powers of 9gag and facebook: I don't want to live in this world anymore...

Me, myself and I in retrospectiva 2012

E tarziu. Dimineata tarziu. A trecut anul nou. Retrospectiva mea s-a rezumat la 3 secunde de connexiuni neuronale. Nimic liric sau literar. Nu mi-am scris rezolutiile. Nu mi-am terminat proiectele. In momentul de fata, totul suna pompos. Pretentios. Inutil. Ultimul an a fost ametitor. Mi-a deschis ochii la multe. Poate nu chiar la ce trebuia. Realizez ca am petrecut 12 luni fugind si ascunzanduma. Au fost momente glamorous. Dar toate superficiale. Au fost momente perfecte. Dar probabil cele mai inocente si pentru care nu trebuie sa mergi la celalalt capat al lumii ca sa le traiesti. Au fost decepti. Dar la care ar fi trebuit sa ma astept. Deci care este rezumatul? Experienta. Anul asta mi-a lasat multe poze si  multe urme pe suflet. Unele bune, altele rele. Am impresia ca am imbatranit foarte mult. Si e trist. Copilaria nu trebuie lasata niciodat in urma. Dar uneori nu ai de ales. Ca sa inchizi un capitol trebuie sa renunti la o parte din tine. Si sa constuiesti pe ce a ramas. Anul asta am sters mult. Dar deocamdata pagina ramane goala. In 2013 vreau sa urmez sfatul pe care il dau in mod constant la toate prietenele mele si pe care eu nu prea il urmez niciodata. Vreau sa ma uit in oglinda cu luciditate si fara frica. Vreau sa nu mai fug. Vreau sa imi duc reflectiile pana la capat si sa nu mai traiesc din iluzii. Am mai spus-o de doua ori pana acum, dar acum trebuie sa o iau in serios. Vreau sa fiu mai puternica si mai disciplinata. Vreau sa am macar impresia ca pot schimba ceva in viata mea.

We're all going to die!!

Marketing people always push their boundaries in their continual search to attract more and more customers. This following example, though I don't think I'm going to buy in (courtesy of student budgets), made me laugh and ponder (which always gains brownie points in my book):

Awesome isn't it? I kind of wish I didn't have years of tuition in front of me to pay... otherwise, I would jump on the first plane to Brussels or Vienna or (gasp) Prague. But hey, if the world does end on the 21st then I guess I don't need to worry about that do I? Yeahhh.... wishful thinking!

But leaving aside marketing-induced impulsive behavior and whether the world will end (or not) in a week and a half, I think that this is a good opportunity to take a moment (now that I can actually afford to do that) and reflect on what is important, to see the big picture on what we have accomplished, on what we want to accomplish, to show the people in our lives that they are important to us and that we appreciate them. Even if  our lives continue past December 21st, they are still short in the grand scheme of things and it's never too early (or too late) to start working on your life, on who you want to be and to just smile and say thank you. So here's my bucket list for the upcoming end of the world:

1) Say thank you to everyone who has endured me during the good and the bad times, who picked me up when I was at my worst, who encouraged me when I thought it was pointless, who inspired me to go on, who made me smile and laugh, who went along with my madness.

2) See the Geminid meteor shower on December 13th. Please clouds be nice and stick this one out.

3) Apply to university and go back to my first love: science.

4) Get a new phone!! I can't believe I managed to tough this one out for 4 and a half years...

5) Exercise

6) Go to a JMSB party. They say that we have the best parties in town. Well I'm ashamed to say that after 3 years here, I still haven't been to any... So I missed Frosh, I missed the Halloween parties, but I'm not going to miss the end of semester party!

7) Research the subject of illusion of control in communist economies.


So there it is! I think it's more than enough for less than 2 weeks. Oh no, wait I forgot one:

8) Restart my Flirting with Red Balloons project on the different theories of happiness. Yep! I'm back!


My personal opinion is that you only live fully when your bucket list becomes your to do list. Maybe I should make that my philosophy for next year haha!

Happy last weekend before the end of the world!

Aneurysm

It's been too long. I kind of miss writing here. I just don't have the time right now. However, since today (and by today I mean Monday, even if it is technically Tuesday, but I haven't slept yet so I'm still allowed to call it Monday) was the first day of the week when I officially die and go to hell (if I'm not already in hell), I felt like this song was kind of appropriate. Here's to the end of the week which is coming way too soon and at the same time not soon enough.

Red balloons are starting to lose air

I've kind of failed to keep up with the schedule that I imposed on myself on this project. And it probably won't get any better in the next month. What can I say? School's a "witch with a b" right now. BUT I will finish this project before the end of the year! Even if it means doing a post every day during the month of December! Which will probably be the case... So I officially announce that my weekly posts are postponed until December 9th.

 

Free fall or how a busy schedule forces you to postpone

I am ashamed to say that today I have nothing. My exams and projects are cramming so much of my time that I haven't had any time to research any new theory this week. So I guess that all I can offer right now is a promise for a 2 for 1 deal next week. And I can leave you with this wisdom freshly squeezed from my personal experience during the past couple of days:

Happiness is finding the courage and strength to do what has and is needed to be done at the expense of what you actually want to do. Happiness is finding within you the power to follow your instincts and swallow your pride. Happiness is making someone else laugh when they need it the most. Happiness is being at your lowest and being able to gain perspective. Happiness is being able to say yes more often than you say no.