Un cumulo nimbus plange fulgi de zapada cand e prea frig

In fiecare an, perioada asta imi evoca nostalgie si speranta.

Nostalgia inocentei pierdute si a anilor care m-au lasat ca amantii nepasatori care nu privesc niciodata in urma. Care iti iau tot ce ai mai pur de dat si te lasa doar cu cinismul idealistului deziluzionat si poate cu o durere de spate si de genunchi.

Speranta unei epifani care imi va dovedi ca totul are un sens, ca exista o logica chiar prefabricata de imaginatia unui copil in delir care il vede pe Dumnezeu chiar daca nu crede in El.

Vreau sa visez si sa zbor pe aripile vantului. Vreau sa ma intoxic cu nebunia vietii. Vreau sa fiu vrajita de puritatea luminii. Vreau sa-mi simt inima care mi se opreste in gat. Vreau sa gust catifeaua care mi se topeste in gura. Intr-un final, vreau sa ma intorc in timp si sa ma intoxic din nou cu arome de pe alte taramuri.

Iar daca planurile vor fi sa se destrame precum le cere natura lor capricioasa, atunci vreau sa ma pierd in infinit cu un zambet pe fata. Daca e sa dau fail, macar sa fie un epic fail!

Boo!

I'm baaack! Didn't take long now, did it? Hahaha, however I'm not writing this post to talk about my absence or what it has brought me, and even less to explain my future plans. That shall come soon. This post is here to celebrate (a bit late) the wonderful holiday of Halloween. And while I'm at it, I'd like to present to you Jack and Flashy (ignore the cat...that's just plastic), my fabulous creations (with a touch of humility I must admit I had help...).


I have to say I've never been much of a Halloween fan (might have something to do with my culture) but this year I decided I was going to have fun. So I carved pumpkins (and dragged some poor souls into my folly), went to an improvised Halloween party (which consisted mostly of dancing on Shakira songs....man my abs were hurting at the end of the night!) and cooked (partly ruined) Halloween deserts (only on this occasion can you end up turning whipped cream into butter....not kidding at all!). The only thing I didn't do was get dressed. Oh well, there's always next year :D.

The only sad thing that I find is that with every passing year, there are less and less people going trick or treating (though I have to admit that when there's snow outside, you rarely feel like dressing up and going to freeze your ass off while you go knocking on people's doors), not to mention the diminishing number of decorated houses (you can barely find one on every block). However, there'll always be some things that never change like the following house which I never fail to visit every year. These people must spend thousands of dollars on Halloween decorations every year.


And with the passing of this event, we are brought into the month of November. This month is very special for me, because in exactly 20 days, I will turn 20 years old. I shall no longer be in my teens. And even thought this is an occasion for me to roll into a little ball and cry over the injustice of the aging process, I still think that this is a good opportunity to take a look at my life and put it in perspective. Because when all is said and done, I wish I could be a better person. I wish I could help others more. I wish I could be less selfish. I wish I could spend more time with those that I love. I wish I could be more efficient. I wish I could free the words and the shapes, the contours and the colors that are locked somewhere deep down inside me. I wish I could be a better student, a better employee, a better friend, a better daughter, a better lover. I wish I could tell everyone how much they mean to me. That's why I decided to dedicate this month (or in any case the next 20 days) to the people who count for me. So I'm taking the risk of sounding like a teenager leaving a message in someone's graduation album (but in a sense isn't that what turning 20 is like? Graduating your teenage years and moving on to young adulthood). This goes to all those who have been enduring my character in the good times as well as in the bad ones. This goes to those who have shared my laughter as well as my tears for the past couple of years. This goes to my family and my friends, to all my loved ones.

Worst time of the year

Worst time of the year: Christmas and birthdays (well my birthday in particular)! Now I know that this makes me sound like a scrooge, but my reasons for this go beyond just a hate of human contact. As a matter of fact, I love human contact and being around people. I think that you never live more fully than when you are surrounded by people that you love and who love you. But what I hate about humans is that most of the time they're disappointing (and this even when you only have basic expectations). That's the problem! When you get close to people you start having expectations and as Barry Schwartz explained (see earlier post) expectations are the start of unhappiness and you end up being disappointed 90% of the time. This is particularly obvious around Christmas and birthdays because they're supposed to be special occasions and that has an effect of raising expectations. So the only thing that these occasions end up doing is giving you a wake up call and a very cold reality check.