I can has cheeseburger now?

You sometimes get to a point in your life when you start to reevaluate your priorities. Because when you're constantly tired and constantly rushing to get things done, there's obviously a lack of efficiency somewhere. And today I have come to the conclusion that I'm doing it all wrong. What exactly? No clue. But when you love what you're learning and it interests you and you're all fired up about it but no output is coming you have to come to one of two conclusions: 1) maybe you're not as good as you thought you were and what you thought was intelligence well maybe it's just arrogance; or 2) you're incapable of conveying that fire and those smarts to the outside world (which in a sens is worse than being an idiot). Either way, I'm doing something wrong here.

After months of stalling, I finally started reading The seven habits of highly effective people and though I'm not very far into it, there was something that caught my attention. At one point, the author is talking about the tale of the goose that lays golden eggs and how, in order to keep enjoying the eggs, you need to care equally about the goose as well as the eggs. Kind of like farmers in Malawi who keep sowing their land year after year after year because they never have enough to eat and eventually the soil becomes so depleted in nutrients that production starts decreasing every year more and more and they just become more and more poor. They need to eventually get fertilizer in order to enrich their land (aka take care of the goose) in order for their crops to become sufficient. Anyway, leaving aside the metaphors, it is true that I have been neglecting my goose these past few years. You push yourself to the edge in order to get everything done and afterward you are too blasé and too tired to keep going so you need to take some time off. But the time off then causes you to fall behind in everything else so you need to again push yourself and etc. and etc. and etc. Spinning cycle that never ends. And what does that leave me with? A fucked up back, quite unattractive dark circles under my eyes, those extra pounds which will never go away if I never eat properly and no applicable knowledge that would show that I actually didn't waste my time in school. So shall we say loss-loss?

In the end the point is that something needs to change. I think that after a year dedicated to self-discovery and selfishness (I was selfish that's for sure... how much did I discover? Well, not a total waste of time, but I still have a long way to go), the next one should be dedicated to proper habits. After all, Aristotle did say that we are what we repeatedly do.

Problem is that all I want to do right now is watch last night's Fringe episode. I can has cheeseburger now?