Red or Green are two sides of the same apple

Haven't had much time lately to think about anything other than differential equations or electric circuits and nobody really wants to see or discuss that. But I just saw this talk on TED and it hit home so much that I couldn't stop myself from taking the time from circuits to pick it apart. The talk is on jealousy and envy and though it doesn't bring any answers to the question or relief to the problem (other than misery loves company), it is still a very interesting listen.

 

 So here it is. Envy is an integral part of our lives. Though it is frowned upon, at the same time society creates all the necessary conditions for it to flourish. For one thing, we are in constant competition with one another. And the hippie psycho-babble is that we are all special snowflakes and we are not in competition but we actually complete one another. Sure thing. So maybe I'm not competing with every single one of the 7 billion humans on Earth. But I am competing with the other guy interviewing for the same job as me. I'm competing with the other girl who is interested in the same man I am. I'm competing with the other smart-asses in my class for grades because of course we live in an academic system ruled by the bell-curve. And the most insidious competition of all, the one on social status that has been exacerbated and blown out of proportion through the powers of social media. We are more connected than ever, but at the same time, we never felt more alone and Facebook is just another way to ask, no rather, BEG for attention. And this makes us deeply unhappy. I don't know about you, but personally every single time I log on to Facebook I feel just a little bit worse. Because there's always someone who just went to Greece on vacation and posted their pictures or somebody who got invited to a party that you were left out of and now is describing what an amazing time they had. Facebook has become an endless competition to show off. Because as Tyler Durden so eloquently put it, "You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. " Sure there are differences but there is a limit on the number of unique attributes you could have and we are all just a combination of the same ingredients with different concentrations. BECAUSE we are not so unique as our high school professors might have liked to make us believe, because our world is made up of limited resources for an ever-growing population and because we live in a market economy that only rewards the best of the best, because marketing is mostly based on exploiting unfulfilled desires, we are in competition with one another. Ultimately, we have to learn to ignore our natural impulses and the messages society sends us on a daily basis or else live in misery with only Proust and Shakespeare as company.

Where is my mind?

Sometimes you really just feel like everything is just going to the dogs. Like you're really loosing it and everything is moving one thousand miles an hour in the wrong direction. If there is such a thing as a right direction. And you just feel like yelling STOP! Because you can't breathe anymore. Because you actually have to concentrate in order to get the air into your lungs and not suffocate. Sometimes you wish you could rewind, but you don't quite know exactly to where. There's just too much disorder, too much to do and you're so afraid, and you just want to stop, and you just want to collapse. But you can't. Is that what growing up is like?

Superhuman race

As the years go by and you get through high school, CEGEP and university, the pressure put on students to perform continuously increases and you get to the point where you desperately need a reality check.

You start school, an innocent 6 year-old thinking that good grades is all you need to get through life. Then the years go by and before you know it, you have to apply to university and suddenly having good grades is only enough to keep you afloat among the masses of high achievers. But what makes you unique? That is what universities want to know. And unless you've won some beauty pageant, all the while being the president of the math club, there's no chance that anyone will take notice.

Extracurriculars have become the new buzzword in the academic world and even in the world of job searches. It is no longer enough to be good at what you do, but you need to care about your community, you need to change things, you need to leave a mark. And if that wasn't enough, you also have to network and have the right connections if you want to get into a really good school. I read this old article in the New York Times about athletes who were trying to gain admission into select colleges through their achievements in the world of sports. Now these aren't brainless people who weigh 200 pounds of muscle and who only know how to kick a ball. They are intelligent people who manage to juggle school work and intense training programs. But still, some are left out. Because even when you're the best, there are still people who are better than you.

But how do you live with this knowledge? Always pushing yourself, always expanding your horizons in every possible direction, hoping that you have what it takes to secure a good future for yourself. Another New York Times post talks about students in the US applying to as many as 30 universities in hopes of being accepted in a good school. 30??? That is freakishly insane! Besides the fact that you get yourself in debt even before you start college in order to pay the application forms, the time it takes to complete those applications which in competitive programs require long autobiographical letters and references from teachers is incredibly long even for one application.

This leads me to think, what about the normal people? Do they even exist anymore? People who struggle in high school, what do they do in this case? Or have they already been submerged in the academic ocean? Did they give up? Have they been absorbed by society into Walmart cashiers and restaurant waiters? Or on the contrary, are they faring better than us nerds by simply rejecting the system and becoming entrepreneurs?

I remember someone once telling me that it's better to be the smartest in a group of stupid people, than to be the idiot in the genius bunch (or something along those lines). Maybe the answer doesn't lie in going to Harvard or McGill Med, but in making your own way. But then which one of those two is easier?

Maybe, in the end, the problem is not with the system, because after all, there will always be limited places for a larger number of candidates, be it in universities or in the workforce. Maybe there's a problem with our values and the perception we have of ourselves. Maybe the philosophy exposed in Fight Club is right. Maybe Tyler Durden is right when he says: "You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else". Maybe we should stop concentrating on being the best and just concentrate on enjoying life. And what if you have to be the best in order to enjoy life (aka high achievers such as myself)? Well then sucks to be you...

New York Times articles here and here