Et il pleut

Je me réveille ce matin par un temps exécrable de pluie et de vent. Mais en prenant mon café, je regardais distraitement le grand sapin en arrière et le ciel en tumulte qui lui servait de canevas. Ce ciel toujours changeant. Ce ciel me donne espoir. Il me fait rêver. Il me donne envie de m’envoler. Il me rappelle qui je suis. Le bonheur absolu c’est l’espoir. C’est les possibilités. C’est le saut dans le vide. C’est la peur et l’envie en même temps.

Al Pacino looked good in the 70's

I decided that my entertainment choices as of lately had been lacking testosterone, so I finally convinced myself to sit through The Godfather. Yes, every single male on this planet goes on and on about how this is the greatest movie ever made since cave drawings were invented, yet the idea of watching guys shoot each other for 3 hours never seemed appealing to me. Nevertheless, I felt that now it was finally time. So after you get through the first hour and a half, the movie becomes more bearable (dare I say almost enjoyable) and you can start to understand the full scope of the philosophy that the authors are trying to convey. So what did  I learn from this?

1. When you want to get something from people, always make them an offer they can't refuse.

2. Always side with the family.

3. Protecting your family is the most important thing. This can sometimes include getting involved with drugs and killing people.

4. Si tu fiul meu Brutus? aka always expect to be killed.

5. Women are naive and innocent creatures that need to be perpetually protected and honesty is overrated.

Overall, I can't say it was as painful as I initially expected it to be. However, if this is what reality is like (and I have a good feeling it is), then I am only left with this one phrase that has become legendary through the powers of 9gag and facebook: I don't want to live in this world anymore...

Me, myself and I in retrospectiva 2012

E tarziu. Dimineata tarziu. A trecut anul nou. Retrospectiva mea s-a rezumat la 3 secunde de connexiuni neuronale. Nimic liric sau literar. Nu mi-am scris rezolutiile. Nu mi-am terminat proiectele. In momentul de fata, totul suna pompos. Pretentios. Inutil. Ultimul an a fost ametitor. Mi-a deschis ochii la multe. Poate nu chiar la ce trebuia. Realizez ca am petrecut 12 luni fugind si ascunzanduma. Au fost momente glamorous. Dar toate superficiale. Au fost momente perfecte. Dar probabil cele mai inocente si pentru care nu trebuie sa mergi la celalalt capat al lumii ca sa le traiesti. Au fost decepti. Dar la care ar fi trebuit sa ma astept. Deci care este rezumatul? Experienta. Anul asta mi-a lasat multe poze si  multe urme pe suflet. Unele bune, altele rele. Am impresia ca am imbatranit foarte mult. Si e trist. Copilaria nu trebuie lasata niciodat in urma. Dar uneori nu ai de ales. Ca sa inchizi un capitol trebuie sa renunti la o parte din tine. Si sa constuiesti pe ce a ramas. Anul asta am sters mult. Dar deocamdata pagina ramane goala. In 2013 vreau sa urmez sfatul pe care il dau in mod constant la toate prietenele mele si pe care eu nu prea il urmez niciodata. Vreau sa ma uit in oglinda cu luciditate si fara frica. Vreau sa nu mai fug. Vreau sa imi duc reflectiile pana la capat si sa nu mai traiesc din iluzii. Am mai spus-o de doua ori pana acum, dar acum trebuie sa o iau in serios. Vreau sa fiu mai puternica si mai disciplinata. Vreau sa am macar impresia ca pot schimba ceva in viata mea.