In memory of the Polytechnique shooting

Maybe subconsciously I'm using this as just another way to procrastinate, but I think this needs to be written down. Yesterday marked the 25th anniversary of the Polytechnique shooting during which 14 women were killed because they were studying engineering and that somehow made them feminists. Because they were occupying a space that supposedly wasn't theirs to take. Because they didn't belong. You know, the status of women in engineering is a strange one I feel. On one hand, you're put on a pedestal because you're a minority and a highly prized one at that. You are the proverbial unicorn and that makes you special. But on the other hand, you will always have those few people who will see you as a puny little girl who's trying to play in the big leagues. And although this last category is quite small, whenever you come into contact with it, it has the effect of shaking your foundations. Because whatever you are trying to achieve, failure is no longer an option. Because you want to prove the other person wrong. Because now it's a matter of pride. And this reaction is normal irrespective of gender. But, being a girl in engineering, I feel like the pressure to succeed is twice as great. Because you are not just trying to prove something for yourself, but for a whole range of other girls whose capabilities are being doubted solely based on their gender. Because my success is their success and my failure is their failure. Because I'm still trying to prove that this is my place and that here is where I belong. And I hope to see the day when I will no longer be met with surprise when I tell people I am studying engineering. A lot of progress has been made since that day 25 years ago. But there's still a long way to go and I hope it won't take another massacre for us to make it. In memory of those women who never made it to their Iron Ring ceremony, no matter how hard things might get for me, I will make it there. For you. For all the girls around the world who do not have access to an education because their usefulness to society is only translated through the amount of household chores they can do and the amount of kids they can raise. In moments like these, I realize I am incredibly lucky to be where I am now and to have the opportunity to study such an amazing field. So at this point, failure is no longer an option.